And the Winners Are...

In an effort to answer the question posed by my previous blog post, I began researching different books and resources to teach YOUNG children about "the birds and the bees" on an age-appropriate level. I read that, because of the nature of the subject, parents have the tendency to either 'skirt' the issue (ie - "We'll tell you when you're older") or give their children too much information too soon. The Mr. and I researched and read through several childrens books and came up with a definite winner and runner-up. Angel seems very happy with the books as well, and they have seemed to perfectly satisfy her budding curiosity, without overburdening her with the details. So, should you find yourselves in a similar predicament anytime soon, we highly recommend "Where Do Babies Come From" By Brad Wilcox, as well as "Where Do Babies Come From - A delightful first look at how life begins" by DK publishing.

I don't generally do book reviews on here, but if you're interested, here's a quick synopsis: The book by Brad Wilcox comes from an LDS perspective. The introduction for parents is something I personally feel EVERY parent should read - it emphasizes that it is PARENTS' responsibility to teach their children about this topic, and should never be left up to 'society at large' despite the discomfort of parents and children. He outlines 7 excellent steps/tips which I found very helpful. There is an illustrated 'story' for young children explaining parts of where babies come from, without the details, and then a question and answer section at the end for older children. Basically, it's a read for the entire family! The book by DK publishing is great for toddlers and preschoolers - gives a very simplistic view of how all types of babies are made, from plants to ducks to humans. A very good place to start.

Mommy, How do you make a baby?

This question has been in the works for a long time coming.

When Angel first learned that my sister-in-law was pregnant (nearly 2 years ago, so Angel was just under 2 years old!!) she furrowed her brow and asked, "Mommy, Aunt Niesha didn't eat the baby, did she?" "No...." "How did it get in her tummy then?" "Heavenly Father put it there." That seemed to satisfy her under-2-year-old brain and I thought we were good.

Over the past few weeks, though, it has been coming up with increasing frequency, partially because she is 3 going on 15, partially because she is very excited about her new baby sister growing within my increasingly large belly.

Lately she has been very interested in how things (ie cars, trains, etc.) work and how EVERYTHING is made. This led to a discussion on man-made things, and how people cannot make living things ("But Heavenly Father is a person" she said, so we went into how He and Jesus are the only 'people' who can create life, etc....). We've also been reading books on animal lifestyles, which talk about how a mother lays eggs - "Where do the eggs come from?" - and the father fertilizes them - "What does fertilize mean?"

So today, completely out of the blue, she asks "Mommy, how do they make babies?" "Who" I ask, stalling. "Heavenly Father and mommies and daddies." "Uh..." I tried to repeat the same "Heavenly Father puts it in the mommy's tummy and it grows until it's ready to be born" explanation that worked so well before, but that didn't work this time. I've been trying to prepare for this question but I truly didn't expect her to be quite so curious at this early age. I finally answered that when a mommy and daddy love eachother, they get married and then, at the right time, they each put a special little part of their own body together and then Heavenly Father puts a spirit into it, and it all goes into the mommy's tummy to grow.

"How does the baby come out when it's big enough?" "The mommy pushes it, really hard." At least that answer worked for now.

So, I'd love to hear, how have you parents handled these situations? We want to be open and honest with our children - but not TOO open at too young of an age.

Adultitis

I need to read this book. I'm on the hunt for it, and when I find it, I'll read it and let you all know how it is. :)

"Adultitis is a silent epidemic that has been ignored for far too long. It's a disease that slowly erodes our inborn childlike spirit, killing our dreams, curiosity, faith, happiness, and hope. It stresses us out. It causes us to take ourselves too seriously. And in some extreme cases, it can cause smile amnesia."

Nap - or at least QUIET - time

If you've been a mother of young children, you know how important, even sacred, ALONE time is. I, for one, would probably go insane without even a short block of time during which I can do what I want to do without listening to one or more of the following: whining, nagging, pulling on my pantlegs, fighting, a big crash, or an extended period of silence after which I find one or both of my children involved in something I should have suspected (ie eating toothpaste, smearing lotion all over one another or creating somesort of artwork somewhere it shouldn't be). Things have been going fairly well over the past few months, at which point my two toddlers finally consolidated their napping schedule and gave me up to an hour of my own time each day. It's been HEAVENLY, especially since I'm pregnant and often need a nap myself. Unfortunately, however, my 3 year old has, over the past couple of weeks, given up naps. She's at the awkward stage where, if she does nap, she lies in bed awake until sometimes after I go to bed at night; but without a nap she gets cranky towards the end of the day and usually needs to go to bed early. I can't fault her for this - I've read that only 53% of 3 year olds and 27% of 4 year olds still nap - but what's a woman to do??? I've been trying to incorporate quiet time, a period of an hour during which she must 1) remain in her own bed and 2) keep quiet, but I am running out of books to keep her occupied. What sort of brilliant schemes have worked for you mothers out there?

Menu Plan Sunday

I am in need of some good summer recipes - by GOOD, I mean HEALTHY and CHILD FRIENDLY (my children aren't super picky but do turn their noses up at strong spices, etc.). By SUMMER, I mean main dishes which are good served cold. (I especially love cold soups as I just found that my kids will eat almost anything I serve in a bread bowl - last week we had creamy cucumber soup in bread bowls and they loved it!) So, any suggestions/ideas would be greatly appreciated!!!

Sunday - turkey meatballs, roasted potatoes, strawberry spinach salad
Monday - CALL NIGHT (Daddy doesn't come home) - kids choice
Tuesday - shrimp and sausage gumbo, grilled corn, watermelon
Wednesday - split pea soup in bread bowls, pacifica salad, canteloupe
Thursday - chicken cacciatore, steamed rice, cranberry salad,
Friday - grilled chicken, asparagus tortellini salad, baguette with dips, watermelon
Saturday - left overs

We're Back!

Well, I have officially survived a week as a single mother - although it doesn't really count because we were surrounded by family who were, in many ways, better at entertaining our kids than either of us has ever been! (Why, despite our best efforts, do our children always find us so dull?!

Oregon was wonderful - we spent a good portion of our week at Sunriver, a resort in Eastern Oregon, which was WONDERFULLY relaxing and enjoyable, from feeding the deer out our backyard




















to surfing (at the fitness center)



to just lounging around in our awesome rental house. (Of course, Angel and Grins loved the park and swimming more than anything else!)





Then I enjoyed catching up with a High School friend I haven't seen in AGES,

seeing my cousin and his wife with their newest addition, and living it up at my dad's 50th birthday bash. Through it all, despite the crazy schedule, late nights and often lack of naps, my kids were incredibly pleasant and well-behaved; a wonderfully pleasant surprise. Overall, it was a nearly picture perfect vacation - the only thing lacking was the Mr. who was slaving away at a hospital some 800 miles away. So, though we had loads of fun, it is great to be back to Daddy, our own home, and our regular schedule and routine! The kids, though, are already asking "When are we going to Oregon again?"

Ode to our "New Place"

So, since our stay here at University Apartments is such a brief moment in time, I thought I'd jot down some of the things I just LOVE about it, just to make sure I don't forget how much I am enjoying our lovely little abode.

Apartment 1540*, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Let's begin with the "kitchen" (or rather, kitchen area, as it is not it's own room per say). I love my kitchen cabinets - all 4 of them! I never realized how much I needed cabinets in my kitchen. So thank you, for holding enough dishes for at least one meal and enough food for at least a few days! And thank you, small fridge/freezer combination! Thank you for keeping my milk, eggs, cheese, fruit and veggies cold. I know I complained about your size earlier, but now I realize I don't need room for other things like condiments and leftovers. Oh, and to my portable dishwasher, thank you for *almost* allowing your cord to reach the outlet near the sink - you've helped me discover a newfound love for handwashing dishes. And I appreciate your placement so close to the kitchen cabinets and sink - I love how toned my calves are becoming as a result of having to stand on my tiptoes anytime I'm in the kitchen in order to fit my growing belly between you and the sink!
To the lovely cinderblock walls, thank you. I know you do nothing to block the many sounds of the lovely families all around us, but I do appreciate that we can't actually see the neighbors through you! To the popcorn ceilings, thank you for keeping your asbestos to yourself. It gives me so much peace of mind knowing you won't contaminate my young children.
To my bathroom, thank you for the toothbrush holder. Even though it looks older than my grandmother and is far to small to hold any of our toothbrushes, it really adds to the nostalgia of the joint. And I love that you have no cabinets whatsoever - no need for child-proof locks here! Besides, who needs a spot for razors, toothpaste, hairbrushes, medicine, cleaning supplies or fingernail clippers? You have certainly helped us declutter! And I seriously love that the toilet, sink and bathtub are so close to one another - I can easily multitask (ie brush my teeth or do my makeup while using the toilet, etc) all while within arms' reach of my bathing children - you have certainly kept our safety in mind!
And, last but not least, apartment, your size is just perfect! I used to long for more room but, as I've unpacked, your 650 square feet have helped me realize how many possessions I actually own. You've made me feel like a queen, owning so many things I can't even fit them all in my home. You have helped me simplify my life by getting down to the bare necessities. We hardly notice the loss of our bed, dresser, dishes, toys, games, cleaning supplies, etc! And our guests probably won't mind sitting on the floor. And you've brought our family so much closer since we are always right next to one another!!!

Thank you, house, for becoming our own little corner of the world - our own little nook (and I mean NOOK!). Memories will be made herein. We will cherish you these next 10 weeks. We will grow CLOSER as a family, of that I am sure.

Sidenote: OK, in all seriousness, I have been humbled about the size of our little space. This past weekend we visited This is the Place Heritage Park, during which we took a little tour of the farm. There we saw an entire home which was 10 ft by 12 ft in size, and which we were told housed a family of 9!!! OK, so maybe I don't have as much to complain about as I thought!!

(*Not our actual apartment number, for security purposes. :) )

My Own Mosaic

I saw this on another blog and thought it was clever. You answer the following questions, type your answers into flickr, and it creates a mosaic. Here are the questions and my corresponding answers.

1. What is your first name? Sarah
2. What is your favorite food? artichoke
3. What high school did you go to? WLHS
4. What is your favorite color? canary yellow
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Hugh Grant, hands down! (Don't worry, Jon knows!)
6. Favorite drink? virgin daquiri
7. Dream vacation? a cruise with multiple destinations
8. Favorite dessert? cheesecake
9. What you want to be when you grow up? Christlike
10. What do you love most in life? Kai and Kea
11. One Word to describe you. Pregnant
12. Your flickr name. (kid version: favorite animal?) Sarah Smiles

Announcing (drum roll, please).....

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Angel and Grins are excited to announce that in a few short months they will have a new little SISTER! Angel went to the ultrasound with me and couldn't have been more excited - she was very concerned that she wouldn't be able to love another brother, since she "already has one", so the announcement of a girl made her very happy. :) Of course, we would have been happy either way, but we are thrilled.

"A girl is...
Innocence playing in the mud,
Beauty standing on its head,
and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot."

"A baby girl...
one of the most beautiful miracles in life,
one of the greatest joys we can ever know,
and one of the reasons why
there is a little extra sunshine, laughter and happiness
in your world today."

Also, we have moved and are STILL unpacking. (hence the shortage of posts recently) When we are finally settled I will post more updates. :)

It's Official...

In a few short weeks, the day after The 3rd Year Med Student begins his clinical rotations, we will officially become "campus dwellers." We were able to score a cozy little six-hundred-something square foot 2 bedroom corner of cinderblock and industrial carpet square heaven, despite the 'year long' waiting list (can you believe there's a WAITING LIST??!!) At first I was excited, but as I pack and prepare to leave our current home, I am becoming increasingly sentimental. When we moved here 4 years ago it was just the two of us - married 3 years, both in graduate school, living the 'care-free' "life before parenthood". Now, here we are, 4 years later, and my, how things have changed. This home is where we watched in amazement as my belly grew and grew until I thought I would pop. This is where we set up the crib and painted the 'nursery' months before the due date. This is where, more than 3 years ago, we lay awake in bed, too excited to sleep, knowing our first child would be born the next day. This is the place to which we nervously brought home our firstborn child, sat down on the couch and said to one another, "Now what?" as the reality of the responsibility of a precious life fell upon us. This is where we proudly displayed "It's a Girl" and "It's a Boy" banners from our front door. This is the only home both of our children have ever known. Within these small walls they have learned (somewhat painfully) to sleep through the night, to talk, to use the bathroom, to eat on their own, to pray, to play. Our front patio has heard their laughter as they've learned to walk, run and ride bikes, and their cries as their little hands and knees have met with it's rough pavement. Our front yard has enjoyed their sweet little feet prancing through it's cool grass in the summer while running through the sprinkler, and tramping through inches of snow in the winter while building snowmen and snowforts. Our children know the quickest path to all the nearby parks, our favorite library (nothing beats SLC Main Library!!), our church, Smiths and Albertsons (both right down the road) and the train station (just a couple of blocks away). Over the past few years, this little 918 square foot dwelling has truly become our HOME. I just can't get over the fact that everything their little minds have grown accustomed to will be changing so drastically in just a few weeks and I can't help but wonder if we're really doing the right thing. In my mind I'd always imagined we'd be here until graduation when we bought our first home, so I feel as though I'm being torn from my warm, comfortable bed a few hours early. Will my children survive? I think so. Will I? I'm not sure. Wish me luck as I wade through sentiment and emotion to pick up and move on.

P.S. FYI When I was 12 I cried for a week when my parents sold their old car so clearly, I don't do well with letting go. :)

My Other Blogs

You may have noticed I have started a few other blogs. I have had a long-standing goal to make journals for each of my children, but have been less than perfect at it. I have, up to this point, done some writing on the computer, but love that you can add pictures, etc to blog posts. I also love that it will never be LOST, even if my computer crashes, thanks to the miracle of cyber-space.

So, I am attempting to more diligently post memories of my children on these. I have kept them private so that I may more freely use their names, locations, etc. without the fear of "stranger danger" - but any of you who read my blog and are interested may certainly be added. Be forewarned that my journaling may be infrequent and, at times, (possibly) somewhat offensive (simply because of things children say - they are, after all, VERY honest and, in our family, anatomically correct since we don't believe in "silly words" for sacred parts) - but these are comments I cherish and want to document lest I forget them!

That being said, if you have any inclination, let me know. I just don't want anyone feeling "left out" - consider this your formal invitation. :)

You know you're "expecting" when.....

...you BAWL UNCONTROLLABLY anytime you hear a remotely sentimental song (or even advertisement or commercial) on the radio.

I rarely listen to the radio, but happened to turn it on just in time to catch a tune I hadn't heard before. Here are the lyrics: (wish I could add it to my playlist, but I can't seem to find the file.)

"I came to see her daddy for a sit down man to man
It wasn't any secret I'd be asking for her hand
I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself
with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf

[CHORUS]
She was playing Cinderella
She was riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes I'm Prince Charming
But to him I'm just some fella riding in and stealing Cinderella.

I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one
When I heard a voice behind me say "Now, ain't she something, son?"
I said "Yes, she quite a woman" and he just stared at me
Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be.

Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes I'm Prince Charming
But to him I'm just some fella riding in and stealing Cinderella.

He slapped me on the shoulder
Then he called her in the room
When she threw her arms around him
That's when I could see it too.

She was Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
If he gives me a hard time
I can't blame the fella
I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella."


Wow! I can't even type it without getting choked up. You can't fully understand this until you have a daughter of your own. I truly don't know what I will do when my sweet little angel ventures off into the 'real world'! (I'm talking about when she starts school in just a couple of years! I'm already a nervous wreck just thinking about it!)

**Along the same lines, another song I LOVE is "I Loved Her First" - it's on my playlist. Click it! You won't regret it!

"I'm Not Spoiled, My Husband Just Loves Me"...

...read the license plate holder of a Lexus I was driving behind a couple of days ago. I scoffed as I read it (I mean, really, does the fact that I drive a Mazda with a dent in the bumper mean MY husband loves me any LESS than hers? Give me a break.)

But, this past weekend, I have to admit, the quote entered into my mind on more than one occasion. My sweet husband always treats me with the utmost tenderness and respect regardless of the day, but he does make it a point to make special days spectacular. He always has and this is one thing I truly appreciate about him; it's fun to feel pampered once in awhile.

Mother's Day for me began on Saturday - I had assumed he would spend the entire day studying since he had a test Monday and he doesn't study on Sundays - so I had planned on cleaning, shopping, doing the laundry, etc. What happened instead was that he awoke early to start the laundry and cleaning and make me a gourmet breakfast (yum!). He then led me to believe he needed us to leave for a few hours to allow him some study time - so I took the kids to the park where we rented a paddleboat, fed the ducks, and played on the playground. We had a great time and were pleased to arrive home to a clean house with all the laundry and shopping done! After we all napped (I LOVE that both of my kids finally nap at the same time - even if it's only about 30 min overlap!) we went to the fair, rode on some rides and then had a DELICIOUS Chinese dinner. It was one of the most fun-filled days we have had for awhile. We had to literally DRAG (well, at least PULL) the kids to the car and then into the house; they didn't want the day to end!

Then yesterday, I had the privilege of an uninterrupted, as-long-as-I-wanted shower (a rare indulgence with 2 toddlers!), we enjoyed church together as a family followed by a quick lunch and then family naptime (I love the weekends!). I opened some gifts (Sneaky Chef cookbook I've been wanting, the Pampered Chef food chopper I've been drooling over, and some Standin' Tall CDs I've been begging for). Then we biked up the canyon and had a picnic and relaxing evening on the shore of the stream in the mountains. It was beautiful and SUCH a fun family time! The best Mother's Day I could have hoped for - RELAXING time with my family. I hope yours was equally enjoyable!

Menu Plan Monday

Never got around to posting last week and I found it was difficult to come up with ideas mid-week; I'm so used to having them planned out ahead of time, and it really does make things easier! So I made it a point to plan this week.

Sunday: Mother's Day - picnic by the river in the canyon (So yummy and SO much fun!)
Monday: sweet and sour pork, steamed veggies, steamed rice, cinnamon bread for FHE treat
Tuesday: Steak (grilled on the bbq, nothing better!), baked potatoes, grilled veggie kabobs
Wednesday: cheesy broccoli soup, crescent rolls
Thursday: white bean tortellini soup, fruit salad
Friday: Eating Out in celebration of Daddy's LAST FINAL OF ALL TIME!!!!
Saturday: Left overs
Sunday: Extended family dinner

Just Around the Corner....

With Mother's Day rapidly approaching I am, of course, racing to get things ready. I usually have both of my own mothers' gifts ready well in advance but, without fail, I forget to help my children make things for their grandmothers. I've had kids for 4 Mother's Days now - you'd think I could get the hang of it one of these times! Oh well, tomorrow will be craft day, spent creating "treasures" especially for the special women in their lives. I found a couple of simple little ideas here, here and here. But my favorite by far was Family Fun (no surprises there - their website is amazing!). We are probably going to do the Alligator Purse for at least one of the Grandmas! And I love the little soaps - will probably save those for next year when the kids' artwork has advanced to where it can be enjoyed by others and not just me. :)

Any Mother's Day traditions or special Mother's Day gifts or memories you have enjoyed?

Decisions, Decisions

We have decided that, with #3 on the way and with the Daddy starting to get VERY, VERY BUSY with school (think 120 hour work weeks - yikes!) it is time for us to bid the Ronald McDonald House adieu. We have loved our time here and have many cherished memories and friendships which will last a lifetime, but it is time to move on.

We are faced with a dilemma, however, about where to go. Two different options await us, both of which seem like decent options: (The decision is always harder when it's between 2 'rights', no?)

1) Housesitting a big house on the hill near school for 10 months: we would just pay utilities (about $400/mo) and keep up the yard and house, but it would (hopefully) be less work than RMH and something I could handle on my own. Benefits: SPACE!!! (something we haven't had for a very long time...actually, ever!!!) The drawbacks: with how high up on the mountain it is, we will most likely need a car with 4WD, which we don't have, so we would need to upgrade (pricey!) just so Mr. could get to school - and I may be stuck home when it snows! Also, it is a VERY nice house, so I'd have just a wee bit of anxiety associated with keeping 3 children from destroying it. :) And, our move-in date would be when I am 9 months pregnant - no fun!!
2) University Student Housing - gotta love it! Cinderblock walls, threadbare carpet, no dishwasher (although we would probably get a portable!) - but it is 1120 sq feet which is SLIGHTLY larger than our current apt. And there are 5 parks within the complex, and TONS of kids so finding friends will not be a problem. The main drawback: $825/month=student loan money :(

So, you Student families out there, we'd love to hear your housing experiences, good or bad, or any input at all which may benefit our decision! :)

Is Your Tummy Heaven?

Lately our darling little Angel has become very cavalier, often rushed, and even noisy during prayers. This evening I decided to have a more 'in depth' talk with her about why we pray and why prayers are so important to me, and why I therefore hope she will treat them with more reverence. This evolved into her asking to hear the story of "Heaven" which she so often loves at bedtime - which is basically my version of "pre-earth life", etc. Basically, I told her that her Heavenly Father asked if she wanted to go down to earth, and that she decided she wanted to. So, on a very special day (left out here for security purposes because I'm a slightly paranoid mom) a few years ago, He sent her to earth to a mommy and daddy who would love and care for her. At this point in the story, she stopped me and asked "How did he send me down to earth?" Not wanting to get into all the logistics, I simply stated "He put you in my tummy, where you grew your body, and then when you came out of my tummy you were officially on earth." She pondered this a moment and then asked, "Mommy, is your tummy Heaven?" I laughed but quickly realized how reasonable her rationalization was, and how sincere she was in asking. I finally came up with a response, "My tummy is like the bridge between Heaven and Earth" which may sound hokey but which I actually believe. I mean, to actually think about a zygote/fetus being cramped inside a confined womb hour after hour, day after day, week after endless week without some sort of reprive? It just doesn't seem humane. So I believe that, somehow, a fetus floats between "here" and "there" - just my own little take on it anyway. But her simple question has truly changed my perspective on pregnancy (at least for the time being. :) ) I get so wrapped up in the discomfort of it all (the nausea, vomiting, weight gain, stretch marks, heartburn, swollen ankles, digestion woes, fatigue...) that I forget the fundamental fact that, at least in some way, 'my tummy is Heaven.'

Menu Plan Monday

Sunday: Lemon Chicken (SOOO yummy!), rissoto, steamed broccoli, peaches
Monday: Chicken enchiladas, black beans, rice, corn, peaches (again! per Makea's request), Texas Chocolate Cake (FHE treat)
Tuesday: Chicken cacciatore, noodles, steamed carrots
Wedesday: Texas black bean chili, corn bread, rice, tomato wedges
Thursday: Chicken pot pie, sweet peas, fruit salad
Friday: left overs
Saturday: Spanish rice casserole, green salad, pears

**You'll notice a theme this week...CHICKEN! This is because Smith's had an awesome sale and I stocked up, planning to freeze a bunch. I ended up forgetting to freeze it in time (I don't like to freeze too close to the 'use by' date) so I had to use it all this week. I'm hoping the varieties will be different enough that my family won't notice...we'll see.

Drum Roll, Please....

"I do not have a face to see,
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss,
I don't yet have a name.
You can't yet hold my tiny hands, 'nor whisper in my ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song, or cuddle me so near.
But all will change come autumn time,
That’s when they say I'm due.
I'll be your new (grandchild/niece/nephew/etc); I can't wait till I meet you.
All I ask between now and then is your patience while I grow.
I promise I'll be worth the wait, because of all the love we'll know.
So have a happy spring and summer
A wish to you from me.
I cannot wait to be a part
Of this loving family!"

~Author Unknown

I realized after the comments of my last post that I had inadvertently 'announced' this in my little scholarship essay....oops! So, there's the official announcement for you, folks. :)

Your Comments PLEASE!

Jon is trying to apply for scholarships to help ease the burden of medical school tuition, etc. Apparently the person in charge of scholarship applications is either illiterate or reads at a rate of 2 words/minute because the limit on each scholarship essay is 255 CHARACTERS (not words) - and that's INCLUDING SPACES, people!! Can you BELIEVE this? I mean, seriously, how can you even introduce yourself, let alone put in a plug for why YOU, out of the gazillion and one other applicants, should be selected to receive the cash. I could go on all day about how unbelievably ridiculous this seems to me, but obviously I have no say in the matter, other than to simply help Jon "write" (or rather, cross out every other word of) his essays. So here's my brilliant idea. Please give your very HONEST opinion: good? or no good? Or, do you have any other ideas??? Because really, all I want is a little bit of dough to help with the $150,000 (GULP!) tuition bill hanging over our heads, so your input is of immeasurable value. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings. It's all about the bottom line, remember? :)

Sample Question:

Priority given to students who have worked hard to pay for their education, whose grades may have been affected by having to work while going to school.

Sample "ESSAY" response: (255 characters or less)

Poor family of 9=no college $. Dream: doctor=8 years of college. Tuition/expenses= 4 jobs + 21 credits/semester=3.4 GPA=MCAT x 4=medical school applications x3=$10k. MBA=$35k. Medical school tuition=$120k. Wife + 3 children=$$. Scholarship=priceless