FYI - my blog is part of the personal journal I keep. It allows me to record (some of) my memories with my family; our struggles, our joys, our laughs and the little bit of Heaven we are creating in our home each day. I make it public in an effort to keep in touch with loved ones near and far (mostly far). Sometimes I wish I were super crafty or a great writer or had a flashy blog with a gazillion readers like "nienie" or make it and love it. I think it's amazing the influence some women have had with their blogs and talents. But then I remember my number one priority in life - my children - and suddenly no amount of fame or fortune seems to matter at all. So while my posts on this blog are not cute or exciting or even well-written, they are serving their intended purpose: personal record keeping. (Translation: this next post is boring and directed only at myself, and is probably something everyone else has already realized. What can I say, I'm a late bloomer.) Also, this is a very revealing, less-than-flattering post detailing my failings as a mother, so you may be inclined to cut off communications with me after reading it. Consider yourself warned.
Due to some unforeseen events, we arrived in Maine penniless - literally. Because there were several things we NEEDED - but could not afford - I began scouring the internet regularly for FREE furniture, lawn mower, etc. Through this, we have been incredibly blessed in receiving everything we needed - and more - without having to spend money we didn't have. This has been a huge blessing. Doing so, however, developed within me a poor habit of increased computer time. Whereas I previously limited my computer time to when my children were sleeping, I began checking my email and message boards frequently throughout the day, so I wouldn't miss out on any 'great deals'. There are hundreds of deal sites out there, and it is easy to get carried away, and I soon found myself spending a bit more time in front of the computer screen than I needed to, and less time than I should on interacting with my children and maintaining our garden. (Not that my kids were neglected or we were eating mac 'n cheese every night, but I wasn't exactly being Mother of the Year either.) I knew it had gotten bad when Angel said told me something that had happened earlier that day and I asked "Where was I?" to which she responded "Probably on the computer."
Ironically, our children almost never watch TV (we've turned it on once since we moved in 2 months ago), so I consider our family very healthy in the "screen time" category. Until now. I realized that, though a very useful tool, the computer (specifically, the internet) can be a veritable time-sucker. One great deal here, a rebate form there, an ad on craigslist really quick and before you know it, the kids are up and asking for breakfast and you haven't even showered yet!
So, I've decided to return to my original rule of "kids awake = computer off". My time with them is so short and fleeting that I can't bear to have my eyes fixed on a screen if they could instead be watching my beautiful children grow. I don't want to miss a moment with them! If I miss out on a free vacuum or an awesome giveaway and have to start paying money for things again, I know somehow I'll survive. And my children will remember more of me than the back (or side) of my head.
Beside, motherhood is the best deal I'm ever going to get!
